Monday 8 May 2017


GenresPunk / Nintendo-core / Hardcore / Metalcore / Ambient / Experimental
Related artists?.
CountryLake Forest, California USA
Years Active1998-2014/present
Song: "Cutsman"
Album: "R. Borlax"
Year: 2003
For fans ofAn Albatross, Dance Disaster Movement, Ice Hockey, Fear Before, The Blood Brothers, Dillinger Escape Plan, I Would Set Myself On Fire For You, The Advantage and Akimbo.
Label(s): Self Released / Pluto Records / Combat Records / LIF Records / Koch Records / Ferret Music / Vagrant Records / Roadrunner Records / Hassle Records
This post's artist is from the April 2017 Mix. This is track #1.
You can download: the April 2017 Mix#4 right here or get the new May 2017 Mix#5 here.

What the fuck am I supposed to say about HORSE THE BAND? Oh yeah..."Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!" Let's be real, HORSE THE BAND was a very unique and sensationalized band that helped carve a niche in the hardcore/Nintendo realm. Yes, yes, yes, that's all well and good, but the realest of real comments has to be that "Cutsman" is a fucking amazing song that they, unfortunately, were never able to top.

I first download a few chunks of 'R.Borlax' back in my university days, most likely due to a review on (now a terrible excuse for a "punk" site) and thought they were pretty cool. I bought the cd and became obsessed with "Cutsman", as well as a few other tracks. Those four songs were excellent, with "Cutsman" being the cream of the crop, and the remaining tracks on the record seemed almost forced in comparison. The opener "Seven Tentacles and Eight Flames" gets things going nicely and is quite indicative of what is to come on the record. At 2:10 the breakdown of "bright light, bright night, everyone's fucked!" is incredible and balances out the crazy Nintendo synths. "Cutsman". Goddamn. Fucking "Cutsman". This is a masterpiece. The screaming at 1:09 is where things begin to get really interesting as it transitions to some very HORSE THE BAND-esque garbled vocals. But eventually, at around 1:50, the nightmare synths come in along with, "Cut, cut, cut, cut. CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT!" and create one of the most intense and awesome things I've ever heard, topped only by the "1, 2, 3 fuck! Little android man! Never, never, never trust'em! He'll cut, cut, cut, cut!" climax at 3:05. Opening and closing with Mulholland Drive audio clips, "Purple" is pretty heavy and discordant, with shrieks and breakdowns galore after three minutes which make it the most aggressive track here. "Big Blue Violence" introduces what sounds like a cheesy 80s athletic running montage before devastating the listener with an imposing and prodigious breakdown. There's even a distant and electronic section that is layered over the two-minute mark, but the song eventually reverts back to those punishing palm muted breakdowns.

It was when 'Mechanical Hand' was released in 2005 that I realized that HORSE THE BAND may have peaked with their debut, as the songs for the new record were all in all better, but no songs on here matched the top half of 'R. Borlax'. I enjoy the songs "Birdo", "Manateen" and "Octopus On Fire" and "Lord Gold Throneroom" but none of them come close the four tracks discussed from the debut LP. There are more positive things to say, such as the production is much smoother, the songs sound much fuller and the vocals are much more consistent than previous endeavours.

A year later, in 2006, the 'Pizza' EP was released and, simply put, is hilarious, stupid and fun. "Anti-Pizza" starts the album and is really the only decent attempt at a song and it does not disappoint. The stop-and-go with those beautifully placed circus synths at 1:10 and again at 2:00 are awesome. "Crippled By Pizza" is where things get a little ridiculous with lyrics even more blatantly pizza-loving than track 1, but musically it's still HORSE THE BAND. "Pizza Nif" is another one worth mentioning as the craziness of the chorus is undeniable, with garbled demonic voices followed by "P!" and "I - Z - Z - A!!!", and that silly midsection of, "When a hot fresh slice is the love of my life...woah Pizza Night!". "T.M.N.T." is utter stupidity as it pays homage to my childhood crack-toy, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

2007 saw what I consider the second best HORSE THE BAND album, 'A Natural Death'. Maybe I'm swayed by the fantastic "Murder", but regardless this was a step forward for the band that had me intrigued at their direction while still maintaining that unique sound of theirs. Upon another listen, the album just seems more complete, thought out and presented. Track one is "Hyperborea", a direct hit to the nervous system. Serving up a goddamn banger, the evil-as-all-hell midsection and end take the cake with those breakdowns of death. The aforementioned "Murder" is probably the closest thing to "Cutsman" that they ever did. I love the synth/drum intro that explodes into the song after 30 seconds, but at 1:03 shit gets amazing and just doesn't stop. Oh, and holy fuck that immense earthquake of, "Murder! Let's murder!" at 1:43 is unreal. Another cool song is "The Startling Secret of Super-Sapphire" as it relies on relatively clean vocals for the first half of the song and then venomous screaming with the typical awesomeness that are those synths. There's also the catchy, "I I I I I I..." that is repeated a few times before the song completely detonates at around the three-minute mark.

2009 saw the final release by HORSE THE BAND, at least as of this post in mid-2017. Meh. It's alright. On 'Desperate Living' I enjoyed the dancey/poppy nature of "Science Police" that employs heavy emphasis on 80 keyboard rock, as well as that sexy hook of a chorus in "Lord Gold Wand of the Unyielding". They were definitely trying out more stuff but in general it seemed a little forced and was lost on me.

Gimmicky or not, I love me some HORSE THE BAND. It's probably safe to say that they will not release any future material, but who knows, as the band did tours in 2013 and 2014 so...yeah.


Click )==>here<==( to download a large selection of the band's discography in mp3 form.

2001 - Secret Rhythm of the Universe cdrLP (you got this? please post it!!!)
2001 - I Am a Small Wooden Statue on a Patch of Crabgrass Next to a Dried Up Riverbed cdrEP (you got this? please post it!!!)

2002 - Beautiful Songs By Men cdrEP (you got this? please post it!!!)

2003 - R. Borlax cdLP

2005 - The Mechanical Hand cdLP

2006 - Pizza cd/10"EP

2007 - A Natural Death cdLP

2009 - Desperate Living cdLP
2009 - Shapeshift 7"single


(2003) HORSE THE BAND - "Cutsman" (from 'R. Borlax')

(2003) HORSE THE BAND - "Purple" (from 'R. Borlax')

(2003) HORSE THE BAND - "Big Blue Violence" (from 'R. Borlax')

(2005) HORSE THE BAND - "Birdo" (from 'The Mechanical Hand')

(2005) HORSE THE BAND - "Manateen" (from 'The Mechanical Hand')

(2006) HORSE THE BAND - "Anti-Pizza" (from 'Pizza EP')

(2007) HORSE THE BAND - "Murder" (from 'A Natural Death')

(2007) HORSE THE BAND - "Hyperborea" (from 'A Natural Death')

(2009) HORSE THE BAND - "Lord Gold Wand of Unyielding" (from 'Desperate Living')

(2009) HORSE THE BAND - "Science Police" (from 'Desperate Living')


HORSE THE BAND mp3 semi-discography download / additional links

(download here)

Official Site


  1. they toured earlier this year and played a new song

  2. R borlax and the mechanical hand are absolutely the only good albums they put out. Both albums entirely are almost flawless